Finally, after everything got well,, I peeped back into my life,,, and this is wat came to my mind...
Let me put it all in the form of a tale...
A depressed young gal, sitting on her bed, all alone, in a dark room..
Its diwali, and the lantern is lit up.. its evening time.. and few rays of light from this lantern try to jump thru the window n console her..
She goes back to her childhood..
Since her birth, she lived with her parents in a small town(Roha) somewhere in konkan.. The town was surrounded by sahyadris(mountains) all around.. They lived very happily there.. Her school, her colony, her friends, those silly talks everything was HER..
As if, God had gifted her eyes to see the beauty of her town..
God gifted her sentiments to feel for her teachers and ppl of colony staying together..
God gifted her hands to play in mud, legs to run along the bushes..
But now came the time to say 'BYE' to all these things she grew up with.. she had to leave this place, her school everything and set up a new start in a new place..
She grew up very well in age,, but yet the memories of her sweet childhood stayed with her always... She was incomplete without Roha!! She used to look at her school photos for hours together..She used to recollect her friend's names, teacher's names just coz she was afraid of forgetting them.. pointing them with her little index finger she literally 'by-hearted' the pics and memories.. Unaware of how deep that all went into her..
She used to get all Roha 'dreams',, she kept waiting for her father to say one day,"lets shift back to roha.." jus to get her friends, her teachers back..
Gradually, her school life was over and she realised how distant her dreams were..
Going back to her town n finding her friends back was something next to impossible..
She learnt to live with the fact that,"It was all gone.." and learnt to live with dat pain too...
The time she had there and the time she had here was totally different.. As if, God had brought her here for sufferings!!
Everytime she dropped a tear, she remembered Roha.. An incomplete dream..
She fought with her family to visit Roha jus for few hours.. Everybody around with her parents failed to understand her sentiments for the place..
She suffered and waited quietly for that day.. A day when she'll leave all the ppl here and go to Roha to live rest of her life there...
This patience had (n still has) immense power..
She knows somewhere in her heart that one day she'll shift to Roha forever..
But, god never gives you everything easily...
she completed her college life with the same feeling(of shifting to Roha when she starts earning...)
The twist comes here,
Now she is getting married... Its a hindu society where we live in.. She is going to a new family.. A gal anyways lives for her 'in-laws' when shez married..
she is sitting in her dark room preparing herself for the tough life ahead...
And she finds her 'ROHA', living silently in her..
She can't even promise herself now of visiting Roha as she did earlier..
And she starts melting.. Its this silly gal crying alone and as if someone consoling her..
Don't know who is this, maybe the li'l gal whom she left in Roha...
Now.. she realises dat a lot she prayed for Roha and she gained nothing..
Her personal lyf dumped her too.. She was terribly shaken off by everything that happened in her life.. She convinced herself by accepting all her mistakes and faults..
Now here, in this room she quietly decides,
"jeevan to mere haath mein nahi hai aur naa hi meri maut.."
She has to live her life as God has written for her...
but, she prays to her God as,
"Dear God, please, i wanna breathe my last there, in Roha!!"