Saturday, October 24, 2009

An Impossible Dream

Its since last few days, i was quite upset..
Finally, after everything got well,, I peeped back into my life,,, and this is wat came to my mind...
Let me put it all in the form of a tale...

A depressed young gal, sitting on her bed, all alone, in a dark room..
Its diwali, and the lantern is lit up.. its evening time.. and few rays of light from this lantern try to jump thru the window n console her..
She goes back to her childhood..
Since her birth, she lived with her parents in a small town(Roha) somewhere in konkan.. The town was surrounded by sahyadris(mountains) all around.. They lived very happily there.. Her school, her colony, her friends, those silly talks everything was HER..
As if, God had gifted her eyes to see the beauty of her town..
God gifted her sentiments to feel for her teachers and ppl of colony staying together..
God gifted her hands to play in mud, legs to run along the bushes..

But now came the time to say 'BYE' to all these things she grew up with.. she had to leave this place, her school everything and set up a new start in a new place..
She grew up very well in age,, but yet the memories of her sweet childhood stayed with her always... She was incomplete without Roha!! She used to look at her school photos for hours together..She used to recollect her friend's names, teacher's names just coz she was afraid of forgetting them.. pointing them with her little index finger she literally 'by-hearted' the pics and memories.. Unaware of how deep that all went into her..
She used to get all Roha 'dreams',, she kept waiting for her father to say one day,"lets shift back to roha.." jus to get her friends, her teachers back..
Gradually, her school life was over and she realised how distant her dreams were..
Going back to her town n finding her friends back was something next to impossible..
She learnt to live with the fact that,"It was all gone.." and learnt to live with dat pain too...

The time she had there and the time she had here was totally different.. As if, God had brought her here for sufferings!!
Everytime she dropped a tear, she remembered Roha.. An incomplete dream..

She fought with her family to visit Roha jus for few hours.. Everybody around with her parents failed to understand her sentiments for the place..
She suffered and waited quietly for that day.. A day when she'll leave all the ppl here and go to Roha to live rest of her life there...
This patience had (n still has) immense power..
She knows somewhere in her heart that one day she'll shift to Roha forever..

But, god never gives you everything easily...
she completed her college life with the same feeling(of shifting to Roha when she starts earning...)

The twist comes here,
Now she is getting married... Its a hindu society where we live in.. She is going to a new family.. A gal anyways lives for her 'in-laws' when shez married..
she is sitting in her dark room preparing herself for the tough life ahead...
And she finds her 'ROHA', living silently in her..
She can't even promise herself now of visiting Roha as she did earlier..
And she starts melting.. Its this silly gal crying alone and as if someone consoling her..
Don't know who is this, maybe the li'l gal whom she left in Roha...

Now.. she realises dat a lot she prayed for Roha and she gained nothing..
Her personal lyf dumped her too.. She was terribly shaken off by everything that happened in her life.. She convinced herself by accepting all her mistakes and faults..

Now here, in this room she quietly decides,
"jeevan to mere haath mein nahi hai aur naa hi meri maut.."
She has to live her life as God has written for her...
but, she prays to her God as,

"Dear God, please, i wanna breathe my last there, in Roha!!"

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

When I Turned Back...

I got a chance to stay alone n be wit me, a few days back..
And I was in no mood of missing it.. I grabbed the opportunity and penned all my thghts down on paper..

I would like to mention few lines written by GULZAR,
"Din kuch aise guzaarta hai koi,
Jaise ehsaan utaarta hai koi..
Aaina dekh kar tassalli hui,
humko iss ghar mein jaanta hai koi..
Der se gunjate hain sannate,
jaise humko pukaarta hai koi.."

When m alone, I recollect these lines and peep into my life..
How I lost everything, my beloved school, place, friends and all other things..
I may sound foolish but thats how i m..
I wrote these lines when i was alone cherishing my past..
And then it went as..

"Tere gam ki shyahi se likhi maine zindagi meri,
teri yaadon mein hi bas gayi mohobbat meri..
Rozana dhundti hun main jisko,
tere aansuon mein chup gayi muskaan meri..
Khalta hai jo dard tera har pal,
usi mein sama gayi hai arzoo meri..
Din bhar sehmi rehti hain aankhein,
har raat khwaabon mein hoti hai dastak teri..
Ab samjhaane ko kya bacha hai?
yunhi har pal rahegi kami teri..
Ise pagalpan kahu? yo deewaangi?
jo band aankhon se dekhti hun main tasveer teri..
Tere gam ki shyahi se likhi maine zindagi meri,
tere hi aansuon mein chup gayi mohobbat meri...!!!"

Thursday, October 15, 2009

This Is What Came To My Mind And So I'm Here Writing A Blog

It feels so nervous when u know that people will read whatever you write. Moreover, thinking about their reactions and comments your heartbeats keep rising.
Well, let me tell you what is my blog all about.
Its since long that I listen to old Hindi music. Gradually, I started loving it and thinking, how can people make such good combination??
Next, what came to my mind was, LYRICS!!
Gulzar, Sudarshan Fakir, Javed Akhtar, Madan Mohan n many more, have written fabulous songs which are loved by everybody down the generations!!
Whenever I'm alone, meaning, "Main Jab Bhi Akeli Hoti Hun...", I really don't know what makes me write something... Something which sounds like a poem and which is just very close to my heart!!

I just thought of posting whatever I write and thus share it with you...

Few lines written by SUDARSHAN FAKIR are as,
"Saamne Hai Jo Use, Log Bura Kehte Hain,
Jisko Dekha Bhi Nahi, Usko Khuda Kehte Hain.
Zindagi Ko Bhi Sila(reward) Kehte Hain Kehne Wale,
Jeene Wale Ko Gunahon Ki Saza Kehte Hain."

Truly speaking, the day I heard this song (sung by Jagjit Singh), I was unable to breathe smoothly. I don't know why but I enjoy being in this world of reality!!
Now, you are waiting for my ORIGINAL post, na??
I guess it will take a day more..
Will soon come up with something..

I have something for now,, I have written this recently..
"Teri raahon mein ruk kar, humne apna hi intezaar kiya...

Jalte rahe khud, par tujhe aabaad kiya...

Rahein jeeven ki na aasan hui,

Bujh gaye raaste phir bhi manzil ko paa liya...

Tere tassavur mein hi apna jeevan sama liya,

Na ho kabhi tujhe iski khabar, yeh zeher bhi swikaar liya...

mere nagme kabhi paraye na the par aaj yeh ehsaan chuka diya..

Tere tassavur mein humne apna jeevan sama liya...

Teri raahon mein ruk kar humne apna hi intezaar kiya.. "

Hows that??